Alone & Sick with a Toddler
Alone and sick with my little one is probably one of the worse things that ever happened to me.
But then, this time -it was a Monday, and there's just the two of us. My little girl and I. Even when I wanted to rest, I can't, because we'll be both hungry and I just can't stand a messy house. We're staying at my SIL's place right now btw, and their floor aren't the best. The paint was coming off and the dust is just endless. I could sweep the floor in the morning, afternoon, and even at night, and there's still a LOT of dust to be swept off. I don't even know where it's coming from. And that alone frustrates the hell out of me.
And so I was so stressed. I had runny nose, my sipon is literally pouring down my nose all the time! I ran out of tissue, and so I used the kitchen napkin, and it was not the best, it was too rough for the face. My little girl was also sick, she has cold as well. Everything was a mess. I was a mess because of my dripping nose, my little one as well, and yes, the house was a mess as I can't really clean the house properly.
My only hope was the nap my daughter would took in the afternoon. I thought yes, I'd be able to rest by then. I nursed her and right after several minutes she's still wide awake. And when finally she's asleep, I thought "yes, I could sleep now". And so I watched some YouTube videos (my pampatulog), and while I was having fun watching some videos and trying to blog, she woke up. My little girl normally takes her nap 2 hours the least, but this time it was only an hour or less. Maybe she couldn't sleep well because of her cold. I tried to bring her to sleep again but that didn't work out. So I thought okay fine this wouldn't be too bad.
I reached my boiling point while I was preparing for our dinner. I got frustrated with all the chores I had to make, my little girl who keeps on whining because of being sick, my dripping nose, I got no tissue, the husband who comes home late, the messy house, plus, I'm going to have my period already. Ah it couldn't have been more perfect.
When the husband came home that night, I couldn't help but put it out on him. He told me to go upstairs. And so I went, I cried my heart out, and thought of happy things and all the blessings I have. When I was done with my drama. I went back to my little family, said sorry and my two favorites hugged me. It was the best feeling.
I know I shouldn't have done that. I know I was wrong. But, I'm no superwoman -I get tired, I get frustrated, and sometimes I just need some alone time to keep myself sane. I am just so thankful that with all the flaws I have, my husband understands me and is really patient with me.
And with this, I got to remind myself that...
Mama needs to be healthy 24/7 ;)